January 25th! This is the date I plan to have my beta copy of Eyes of the Eidolon out in print. No. Not “plan to.” Will.

Stonehenge has inspired me over the years to rewrite this manuscript several times over – each marked by significant improvement.TeethSmile At the end of each, I found myself asking, Is it good enough now?

The answer became apparent in the form of subsequent rewrites…

After finishing the first draft of this manuscript, I felt I was not yet a writer, but I didn’t know how to improve. I couldn’t understand the differences between my manuscript and the published works of those many professionals who spent years developing their craft. Fortunately, I found my critique group – Stonehenge. They massaged me with hot coals, diced me up with samurai swords, pounded me with meat hammers, but yet, they never left a bruise. Their honest words, kind encouragement, and realistic critiques allowed me to grow and understand those differences I lacked.

And so, the rewriting commenced. First draft, second draft, third draft, and fourth. Mind you, the original manuscript was 214,000 words. Fifth draft, sixth draft, and now seventh. I read books about writing, then wrote more. I listened to podcasts, then wrote again. I read books outside my succor, analyzed classic literature, studied genres of today, and learned through hard work, time, dedication, and by forcing my mind open to the thoughts of others. I attended writers conferences, met with agents, publishers, editors, and authors…

Now, I know my writing is publishable. The core story remains the same, but every aspect of this manuscript has changed for the better.

Why so many drafts? What was I thinking? I attribute this partially to my perfectionism, partially to my love of writing, and partially to the inspiration of my writers group and friends. But here’s the answer. After finishing the last words of every draft, I read the beginning and found myself saying, (aloud mind you), “Ugh, this is crap!”

Was it crap? I don’t know – I think the first few drafts were, but I continued believing this because I had learned so much over the course of rewriting each version. When I started rereading each, it was ridiculous to think this thing was publishable. Yes, I was down on myself and depressed. I tried to stay positive, but at times it proved nearly impossible. But the love of writing inspired me to continue my goal of perfection. And now I realize, writing is an art. It cannot be perfected. And I must say – as a perfectionist – this idea was very challenging to overcome.

Am I still improving? Yes! And always will! I will never be better than my potential, and this idea does not, nor ever will, depress me. It does not weigh me down. It thrills me. It testifies that I can always improve, that I can always be better than I am now.

But the acceleration of growth has reduced. I reread my last draft and thought to myself, This is pretty good! It’s not perfect, nor will it ever be, but for the first time, I am satisfied with it. I am satisfied with the writer I’ve grown into. I know my voice, have a definitive style, and understand so much more than I thought possible.

January 25th! Hold me to this promise. Bug me. Prick me with red pens until I turn black and blue. The paper copy of Eyes of the Eidolon will be available to my beta readers by this date. I look forward to your unique perspectives, inspiring views, careful hands, and final words. Thank you all for the gift of learning.

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Comments
  1. sryeager says:

    Consider yourself on the hook.

  2. Matthew Ridenour says:

    Reblogged this on Writing and Progress.

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